Christian Single Parent Dating

As a single parent, have you ever wondered what your kids would say about the way you date?

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When asked what she wishes her mom would do differently, Rachel, a young graduate student, replied, “I wish she would recognize her own impulsivity and emotional rollercoaster. She does and says things without recognizing that to some extent our whole family is dating this guy.”

Dating with two people is difficult; dating in a crowd is downright complicated. Single parents need to consider tricky questions. For example, when and how do you include your children in the process? How much should they influence your decisions about dating? Or, if you’re dating a single parent (with or without kids of your own), what should you be looking for?

So I have recently started dating a woman who is (to the best of my ability to discern) a Christian and a single mom. This is a new experience for me and I've been trying to find advice on this subject but there is a surprising lack of anything out there that I can find written for single. Dating Made Easy For Single Parents – Meet Other Christian Singles. You’re a Christian single parent who truly desires a loving relationship with someone who also has the same spiritual qualities and moral principles. You’re concerned with finding someone with Christian ideals who could eventually be a step-parent to your children. Dating Made Easy For Single Parents – Meet Other Christian Singles. You’re a Christian single parent who truly desires a loving relationship with someone who also has the same spiritual qualities and moral principles. You’re concerned with finding someone with Christian ideals who could eventually be a step-parent to your children.

Dating a single parent. Written by Tamarin Fountain. In this two-part series, I offer some tips and insights for single parents who’re dating and those who may be dating a parent. Whether you have kids yourself or are considering someone who does, it’s important to be aware of how both you and they will be affected. Online single parent dating services like Single Parent Christian Mingle which cater to single parent dating are one of the fastest growing dating genres on the web today. Part of the reason for the growth of single parent dating sites is that the sheer number of Single Parents Dating is steadily increasing.

Dating Myths for Single Parents

Wise dating begins by avoiding these three myths:

1. “If I’m happy, my kids will be happy.” Single parents sometimes tell themselves that their happiness is at the center of their children’s happiness, and therefore, “If I fall in love, my kids will be happy as well.” In truth, there’s no guarantee that finding romantic love will improve the lives of your children. In fact, your happiness can actually bring great unhappiness to your children. To remain balanced in dating, give equal consideration to your needs and those of your children.

2. Your kids can’t be successful unless you are married.This myth claims that children raised in a single-parent home have deficits that will be eradicated if they are, instead, raised in a two-parent stepfamily home. Actually, research suggests the outcomes for kids are no different. Children can fare just as well when raised in a single-parent home as they can in a stepfamily. Therefore, when it comes to the well-being of your children, single parents should feel permission to stay single if they so choose. If you meet someone who is a good fit for your children, great. If you don’t, great.

3. Marriage repairs your home and gives children a family. Divorce or the death of a parent fractures a family, and understandably, single parents want to restore their family to a state of wholeness. But in truth, this isn’t possible. A decision to marry and form a blended family does not return a missing parent to the home. Instead, remarriage provides children with a stepparent and creates a parenting team that is very different from the biological family system into which they were born. This is not to say that stepfamilies cannot be loving, healthy homes—they can! But to date and marry with the expectation that “all will be restored” is to set yourself, your spouse, and your children up for great disappointment.

Best Practices for Dating Again

Once you eradicate the single-parent dating myths from your life, here are some best practices to guide your dating decisions.

Make your early dates about dating each other—not your kids. Early on, your kids may meet your date and be intrigued to learn a little about him, but the first few dates should primarily be about the two of you. At first, reference your date as “a friend,” or, if your kids are prepared, call him your “date.” Casual introductions are fine, but don’t proactively put your kids and the person together until you’re sure of real possibilities for the relationship. This is especially true for children under the age of five who can bond with someone you are dating more quickly than you can. As your interest in the person grows, gradually become more intentional about finding time for your significant other and kids to get together. Tread lightly at first, and continue to monitor and be sensitive to everyone’s reactions.

Avoid a quick turnaround. Parents who begin dating quickly after the end of a relationship (whether by death or divorce) or who make a quick decision to marry after a brief dating period often find their children more resistant to the marriage. This rapid pace sabotages the ability of a stepparent and stepchild to begin a healthy relationship, and it puts the family at risk. Of course, the definition of “quick” will vary between all those involved.

Engage in “What if?” conversations. Even before dating, single parents should begin a series of conversations with their children, asking, “How would you feel if I began dating?” Engage the conversation periodically, asking, “What if John and I began dating regularly?” “What if Sarah’s kids came over every Friday through the summer?” “What if he and I were to get engaged?” Each dialogue can serve as both assessment and intervention as it prepares the children for what might happen. Smart single parents don’t let a child’s emotions dictate their dating progress, but they do listen and give serious consideration to how the children are feeling. Remember, becoming a couple may be up to you, but whether everyone becomes a family is up to them.

Expect various kid reactions. It can be confusing for your kids when you date someone new. One side of them wants to see you smile again; another side is frightened by how life will change if someone new joins the family. This fear stems from the fact that your children are dealing with loss. They have often lost regular contact with a parent, and they feel they have no control over their lives. Also, liking a parent’s dating partner sometimes creates a loyalty problem for kids. They’re worried about how liking your boyfriend or girlfriend will impact the feelings of their other biological parent or that parent’s extended family. Children may warm up nicely to a dating partner and then turn cold or vacillate back and forth. Don’t panic. Repeatedly reassure them of your love and continued involvement, no matter who enters your life.

Pursue God’s blessing. I believe the high calling of Scripture for divorced persons is to reconcile their original marriages if at all possible. Having said that, I want to acknowledge that it isn’t always possible or safe. For example, returning to an unbelieving partner or restoring an abusive marriage won’t bring glory to God unless there has been radical repentance and profound change. Whatever your situation, the point is this: Don’t date or move on to another marriage without first giving serious consideration to the calling of reconciliation. Explore with a pastor or ministry leader what the Bible has to say about your specific situation.

Learn all you can about stepfamily living. Nearly 20 years of counseling and training blended families has revealed to me this secret of successful blended-family couples: They work at getting smarter about stepfamily living. Getting smarter means learning all you can about how stepfamilies function, how they operate best, and why they have the unique complexities that they do. Be a learner.

As parents we have been given the high calling of stewarding our children’s hearts, minds, and souls. Wise dating is certainly a part of this calling, but parenting is so much more. Don’t worry if you make mistakes—give yourself grace as you step into the dating world. And give your children grace as well. God restores his people, and he will walk with you down each step of the dating road.

Ron L. Deal is president of Smart Stepfamilies™, director of FamilyLife Blended™, a popular conference speaker, and author of The Smart Stepfamily, The Smart Stepdad, Dating and the Single Parent, and more. His one-minute radio feature, FamilyLife Blended, can be heard daily on stations nationwide and online. Learn more at FamilyLife.com. This article was adapted from Dating and the Single Parent. Copyright © 2012 by Ron L. Deal. Used by permission of Bethany House Publishers, a division of Baker Publishing Group.

Read more articles that highlight writing by Christian women at ChristianityToday.com/Women

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Dating Made Easy For Single Parents – Meet Other Christian Singles

You’re a Christian single parent who truly desires a loving relationship with someone who also has the same spiritual qualities and moral principles. You’re concerned with finding someone with Christian ideals who could eventually be a step-parent to your children. Well, we can assist you in your search for that special “soul” mate.

Dating Site For Single Parents

It’s not easy as a Christian to face life’s challenges in today’s society. Hopefully, you’ve gone through the healing process over your broken relationship and are ready to take a positive step towards finding that ideal person. Your children are your most precious possession and you are most likely nervous how they will react to your dating. They should know you are going out with a friend, but they don’t need to meet every person you have a casual date with. You will know when the time is right to introduce them to your children. First, you have to meet someone! So, where do you go to meet a sincere Christian single? You have a family and career, so you don’t have a lot of spare time to look for someone.

You may have tried the bar scene, but you really aren’t comfortable in that environment. Maybe you’ve thought about trying online dating websites. They’re popular today. Unfortunately, they take a lot of time because you’re the one who has to all the work to search through profiles to find someone. Then, when you find someone you think you’d like to meet, you discover you know absolutely nothing about them. They don’t do background checks so you have no idea who you are meeting. You don’t know if you are meeting one of those weirdoes we’ve read about in the papers. Maybe you are hoping you’ll meet someone at work. Well, that could prove to be very awkward if you have to work with someone you were dating and it didn’t work out. You’re really at a loss as to where to turn to find that loving relationship you are seeking.

It’s extremely important for you as a Christian single parent to meet someone who shares your spiritual qualities and beliefs. Your goal is to find a true “soulmate” you are compatible with and can have a loving faith-filled relationship.

Dating For Single Christian Parents shouldn’t be that difficult!

Don’t make it harder on yourself than it has to be! We can help make it a lot easier for you. We’ll use our vast experience in the industry and our expertise to assist you in meeting the right type of Christian singles with the same aspiration you have of attaining a loving faith-filled relationship with someone who will love you and your children and who shares your Christian faith.

To start, we partner with and will connect you with dating services in your local area who are experts at helping single Christian parents like you. They also do online background checks, so when you meet someone they introduce you to, you can feel reasonably safe.

Their relationship specialists will get to know you on a personal level so they are well acquainted with your personal preferences and likes and dislikes. They will key in on your areas of compatibility and introduce you to someone you are well-suited for and in particular someone who shares your Christian beliefs. They can eliminate your dating challenges and can match you with someone who fulfills your goals and requirements to find a lasting and loving relationship with someone you and your children will love.

It’s that easy!

First, let’s see if you qualify. Our dating service partners can’t work with everyone. It just takes a minute to fill out our short form. If you qualify, we’ll forward your info on to them. They will contact you to arrange for a no risk consultation.

If you don’t qualify for some reason, we will refer you to one of our online dating partners. They’re also experts at working with single Christian parents and you can fill out a free profile to post on their Internet dating website.

Christian Single Parent Dating Website

It’s up to you to take the first step! If you are a single Christian parent seeking a loving Christian relationship, take a leap of faith and fill out our short form. That’s it! It’s that simple! You deserve to have the loving Christian relationship God wants you to have!

Best Single Parent Dating Sites